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brilliant ideas in a big font… often gay interest or political topics.

Posts Tagged ‘same-sex attraction’

Why don’t gay guys like women?

Posted by bert5 on 30 June 2008

I noticed this was a search phrase that resulted in a link to one of my posts here.  In response, I post the Human Rights Campaign’s Joe Solmonese response to Stephen Colbert’s question along similar lines: Link

If you don’t have time to go there, a briefer response: that’s the whole point of being gay. One might as well ask why fish swim and birds fly.  Or more to the point, why straight guys are not attracted to men.  Actually, I sometimes ask myself this question — late at night, alone.  Okay, just kidding.  Bogus unrequited love stuff is definitely a waste of time.

But really if one is asking scientifically WHY some guys are gay.  As in gosh it’s so anti-adaptive and seemingly the genes for being gay should exit the gene pool (Actually, you must be a Dane or Swede reading English!!  Americans don’t believe in evolution, even if they’re gay.)   But this is a different question: please go to my post entitled: Gays, Evolution: Population Control.

However, if one is just talking more casually as in, “why gay guys seem to hate or dislike women”, this generally isn’t true.  One shouldn’t misconstrue indifference for hate.  LOL 🙂  Is there a kind of jealousy factor in the beginning — because women seem to get most of the “great” men?  Maybe.  But in the end it’s not true, I don’t think, though I guess I’m probably biased and/or rationalizing.

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Little indications: gaydar

Posted by bert5 on 6 April 2008

A single woman does not care how she looks, for example, has short hair. She might be a lesbian (or a very clueless straight girl). The disheveled looks do much to deter men from pursuit, but mean less to most lesbians. On the other hand, if a girl cares about her looks, it may not mean she is definitely straight (it’s just more likely).

A single woman who spends some time trying to gain status, say buy an expensive car, live in an expensive area or have a prestigious career, might be a lesbian, or just a confused straight woman. Men tend to not be attracted to women more ambitious or who make more money then they do.

Note: single woman is key here, as a married woman has more and different reasons for doing the two items above.

A rich single guy owns a low status car, like say a beat up Corolla. Read the rest of this entry »

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Attraction: Guys that gay men like versus guys that girls like

Posted by bert5 on 20 June 2007

Do girls like men with long hair? Perhaps it’s a Texas thing. I read somewhere women love the men with long hair in Texas. Maybe because I’ve never lived in Texas, I just can’t get into it. Once in awhile I see a guy with long hair, and I think there’s no way that guy is gay. In fact, I think the long haired guys do this purposefully, to ensure they don’t get hit on by gay guys. I gotta believe it must work. It’s a super repellent for me. I’ve seen really unattractive guys with long hair get their hair cut and become super attractive.

cosmo long vs short hair on men poll

cosmo long vs short hair on men poll

» The Oh la la blog comments on this very issue and agrees: women LOVE long haired men and gay men LOVE short.

» A Cosmo “study” (image left) shows it’s a little less clear that women like long haired men.   I agreed with the women who shied away from long haired Penn Badgley, because he looks too much like a girl with the shaved face, pale white skin, plunging neckline and cute button nose, but I disagreed with them on the long haired Colin Farrell.  There on the right he’s got Gere-like gray hair, has a stash and soul patch and wears a slight status boosting suit.  None of the aforementioned brings particular appeal to me, but it seems girls really dig that stuff.  Perhaps, a summary might be that it’s hard to pull off being an attractive long haired male, although I think women might be forgiving (more on this below).

Women supposedly like guys with chiseled masculine faces at the most fertile time of their period and then look for less masculine faced guys at their least fertile — in their search for a responsible father. I.e. the hyper-testosterone makes for an unreliable parent. Since I don’t get a monthly hormone cycle, I don’t think my opinion changes. And I tend to aim for the boyish faced guys. I think a good percentage of gay guys tastes run similarly, though obviously tastes vary greatly.

But women in general don’t find looks as important as status and money — basically ability to provide for offspring — in men. On the other hand, I think gay guys pretty much look at physical attraction and youthfulness first. This shows that gay guys are parallel to straight guys, where women’s looks are paramount.

Women do seem to like: Josh Lucas and Matthew McConaughey. To me, these are puzzling choices, but they definitely have the mega extreme chiseled face thing going.  They seem to have taken the whole box of testosterone arm patches and pasted them on their faces.  I think gay guys would shy away if only to stay away from overly macho scary jerks.

And beards. I don’t really take to the full on beards, but here again some women seem to like them. McConaughey and Lucas sport some form of beard pretty much all the time. Another higher testosterone, evolutionary selection for offspring survivability thing I guess. Still, a small amount of facial hair often works for me.

From studies it’s clear females like tall guys.  So much so that it’s worth more than $150k in annual earnings for a short guy to be equally attractive to a woman as a significantly taller guy.  It’s true, short guys have even written books bemoaning the lust of women for tall guys.  Tall, dark and handsome in that order.  In fact, you can leave off the last two, it seems.

But for gay guys, I don’t have much general insight into preferences I think because the preferences will vary. I.e. short guys may like guys still shorter than themselves, or not. Tall guys may yet prefer guys even taller than themselves, or not.  There’s been a theory put out there that there are alpha and beta gay males — er, the top and bottom analogy.  Attempting to go along with that setup, my guess is the alpha gay male would want to be taller than their mate.  And I guess the beta gay male wouldn’t mind being the shorter one.  But perhaps top vs bottom is misdirection, and vers is the answer.

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