Little indications: gaydar

A single woman does not care how she looks, for example, has short hair. She might be a lesbian (or a very clueless straight girl). The disheveled looks do much to deter men from pursuit, but mean less to most lesbians. On the other hand, if a girl cares about her looks, it may not mean she is definitely straight (it’s just more likely).

A single woman who spends some time trying to gain status, say buy an expensive car, live in an expensive area or have a prestigious career, might be a lesbian, or just a confused straight woman. Men tend to not be attracted to women more ambitious or who make more money then they do.

Note: single woman is key here, as a married woman has more and different reasons for doing the two items above.

A rich single guy owns a low status car, like say a beat up Corolla. He might be a gay guy (or a very clueless straight guy). The el cheapo car will deter a lot of women immediately (signifying lack of success in supporting a family), but means much less to gay guys. On the other hand, if a guy buys a fancy high status car, it may not mean he is definitely straight.

A single metrosexual male who spends time buying tight fitting or flashy clothes, putting highlights in his hair, or constantly going to the gym might be gay, or just a confused straight man.  This is because women in general don’t care so much about men’s looks (see below), an exception might be slovenliness in appearance.

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I’ve heard arguments that women aren’t so shallow to judge a man based upon his car. But I think it’s just like looks to a man. I seriously think a man can make a snap judgment whether a woman — or a man — is worth pursuing based on their attractiveness. And a woman can make a snap judgment based on a car, a watch, height, testosterone signals, alpha male attitude or even shoes.

Now, you might say, the guy himself cares about the car he drives even if he’s gay. If he’s a thrill seeker, he might want a fast car. On the other hand, a guy might want a muscle car because it demonstrates something about him or brings a certain status. But here you’re arguing about a guy who buys a fancy car, my statement above refers to guys who don’t care about the car they drive.

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[NYTimes] Lesbian on Bravo “Work Out” reality show says: “Women are attracted to someone who can walk into a room and who’s self-possessed and confident, and that makes them feel safe,” she said. “I understand what women want. Completely. It’s not looks. It’s not all of that. They want a feeling of safety. They are highly attracted to personality and confidence and a very self-possessed person. And I do think I do have those qualities.”